Curator: To Be in This Reality



After international jury meeting, next day during the final exams in the Academy, I started to feel bad. I got a virus, hard virus like never before. Curator of the Artist’s Book Triennial Vilnius three night was laying in the bed and was dying. The third night I could only lie still in bed. There was peace, I was in a white room of light, where some kind of inscription was flying. I could not read what was written in it. It looked like I was about to leave. I only had to answer the question whether to leave or stay. I wanted to leave, but then I remembered my granddaughters. And I thought, if I go out, who will take care of them, how my wife, who does not know how to drive, will be able to visit and help them. And I made up my mind. In the morning I felt as bad as at night, I could only lie motionless on my back. In the evening, my wife talked to my brother, maybe they should call an ambulance. I said no. An hour later, I got up and I say, I’m already healed. I felt completely different, as if I had come out of some phase of the disease and passed into another. I was still shaking, but I realized that somehow, I would dig myself out. The night was nightmarish, I came back to reality, to evil, my environment was killing and torturing me. No, it was my thoughts that tortured and killed me. But I chose to be. To be in this reality.

I realized this only in the evening, Christmas Eve.

This is the reason for the delay in announcing the jury’s decision.

Kęstutis Vasiliūnas


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